Okay, so now I feel really isolated. I don't really have anyone to talk to. The person who I do, who I know is trying, I don't think can tell how upset I am. The only reason I am writing here now is so that I can feel like someone is there listening, I know that is unlikely, but sinse I don't have anyone else, everyone sleeping or not listening, it seemed like the only thing I could do.
I don't know what I am feeling, not much different from the morning, so the day hasn't gone well, I don't think I could feel much worse than I do now, which I have done for a very long time now.
Maybe a large mixture of emotions, anger, fear, obviously sadness, confusion. It goes on, never ending, just silence in the middle of screaming from the other side...
I can definately say I am lonely, but I don't want to be around anyone...
Not even writing it down helps, is there anything that does? Unlikely, after trying so hard, failure is always there at the end, no hope just a lost cause.