Thursday 23 May 2013

It honestly feels like no one is there anymore. You try and say something and they don't seem to care at all. It doesn't help that I am really confused to where I am half the time, I think I keep almost falling over, I would much rather be away from everyone, that way I wouldn't have the problem of people ignoring me, and what I don't get is how people stay away thinking I need space when that is the last thing I need, if I am around people then it would be nice for someone to care just a little bit, I know I don't have any answers, but I know I need someone to be saying the right thing... And with the whole ignoring/staying away thing, IT ISN'T HELPING THE PROBLEM! It is bad enough with all the voices in my head, so staying away has only been making them worse because even they can tell that no one cares. Going into college today seemed completely stupid. I felt sick. I felt really shakey. I wanted to talk to one person, someone who I says they care, but nothing. I think I have been in an angry/really upset mood all day, so when other people got in the way, I wanted to punch them or hurt myself in some way to lessen the emotion. And I have two exams tomorrow, they should go okay, but I don't really like being in this mood for sitting exams, the one place I need to be calm, and I try so hard to stay calm in the exams, then I lose it when I exit them, because what is the point? No one is going to help, no one is going to be there ever, there is that one person who claims to be nice but doesn't care one bit, but that is people, I don't matter so I don't see why I bother...

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