Now I have had enough. Another day at college made me think that no one really cares that much. I want to hurt myself, really bad. In fact, the only thing that is really stopping me from doing something like killing myself (or trying as there is always that failure part to it) is not wanting to hurt some other people, my parents getting involved and a doctor... But nothing is going that well in my head. It is all death and horror at the moment. I tried to talk to some people this weekend, no one replied back, this happens many times so I wonder why I haven't just given up and not have an expectation for just one person to care enough to talk to me... Is it really too much to ask for? Clearly it is. Tomorrow is a full day, so that isn't going to help much. All that has been going through my head today is me causing myself pain, I want to talk to someone, but when I do they weren't listening and when they listen I am too scared to talk. Maybe I should just give up. It would mean no one would have to worry about me because no one would see me, I wouldn't have the apparent unusual expectation of one person to care, and I wouldn't have to go through the pain of sitting somewhere crying and no one even caring at all. Then people say things will get better not fully aware of the problem, or they ask what is wrong not thinking that I have already told them and it is the same thing as ever, so people are also really frustrating to talk to, I shouldn't get annoyed at them really, it is my fault for not being understanding at all, and still pain is the only thing on my mind.