I suppose today hasn't been a terrible day, but I still feel really bad. I mean I was able to smile, but not feel good in myself, after I smiled for some reason this massive pain just appeared and I just wanted to cry. Even now, I really don't like life at all, but after a week of people seeming to look at me really fed up, I guess I should try and talk to someone properly. I still feel incredibly lonely, feel like no one wants to be around me. Quite a few times people have said they'll be somewhere or do something, and they don't. It gets irritating, but that is how life is I suppose, never really been fair, the leaves haven't even grown yet. Everyday I wake up and want them to grow, it is almost may, this time last year I was making my friends run around with leaves on their head, did I or they or someone else do something wrong? Are the leaves angry with us? Probably, we are all mostly human after all. But for now it is just me trying not to do something I could regret later on, or something that would make someone else sad.