I felt really weird earlier, and I couldn't even say that I felt /10 about something then I had to think whether to say the number between 7 and 9 or just write 7 or 9. In the end I wrote 9 because I decided that writing between makes it look like i have problems and 7 was too low. I think I am in a really bad place at the moment.
I think I should just give up.

Currently I feel like crap. I find it really annoying that I couldn't stop crying for long enough at college earlier, just casually starting crying in front of one of my teachers. Although I find it funny how my tutor seems to be completely avoiding me except for occasional lesson stuff. But I don't know what to do. I can't stop crying even now, even when at home when it is most important to appear to be okay. Not good. And it has been like this all week, and I'm still not overly sure what it is that is getting to me most. So there was Jack who decided at some point that he is a bird... not funny, especially in the middle of a lesson. There is that general guy who has always scared me who seems to be really unhappy with me, but he never liked me, however saying that, he is getting a hell of a lot worse now. Then the fact that I am stressed with college because I am so fed up with life that I can't keep up with college. So that isn't going to help me with trying to get a decent grade in physics this year. And the list can go on and on. This week should have been semi decent and now all I can do is cry. I don't know who to talk to this weekend, I don't know what I can do that is actually productive-ish... I will do some homework, but that is only because I have to do it and there is nothing I can do to get out of that, I don't really want to have to accept that there is something completely wrong with all my college work, but at the same time I have to respect the fact that I can't think well enough to do anything than write about how I'm feeling into a little box because it is going to end up as nonsense anyway. All I am thinking about is shark, and pokemon, pokemon x and y come out tomorrow... But that isn't exactly a productive use of my time to be playing that for two days before college. I don't know any more.

I think I'm going to go with the world hates me

missing out words when talking about missing out words

I have to make a poster on schizophrenia for my psychology work this summer, I managed to write this without realising:

Confused thoughts - someone talking to them difficult as the person may be changing subjects, skipping words, sentences may not make sense

I think I was meant to write that someone may find talking to someone with schizophrenia difficult as...

I managed to miss out another word in the delusions part below that... I'm doing well.

"The bad times are just times that are bad"

Another rant - doors

Okay, so I am a little ocd, but it is almost impossible to be happy with a door.
Firstly, the colour. They are rarely the same colour for a long time period. They gain dirt and other muck and paint. It doesn't look right. If I had the energy and will power I would have to clean the door on a regular time period. And with the colour I could include what it looks like, I have seen one door where the pattern repeats itself in one way and then its reverse so it joins together, there are some doors however which have random patterns, which get really annoying especially for me when I want to see a pattern.
The door of my bedroom does a good job because it is either opened fully or closed fully, if it is in the middle I would sort it out, other doors I cannot, people don't appreciate that the door has to either be fully open or closed, anywhere in the middle of that is messy!
The door handles. There are some which are up down ones, they are okay because they will only go one way. Twisty ones can be annoying because some can turn clockwise and anticlockwise to open, I don't like that because it isn't fair on the opening way which is opened less times than closed.
Door handles are definitely the worst part of the door. They are very unclean. It is rare when I will open/close a door and think that the doorhandle felt good to touch in the way that some get rusted or any in public areas will have the germs of not carefully washed hands. And for that reason, the doorhandles in toilets are the worst.
The doors in the house I live in are certainly not clean. They have loads of dirt and dust on. The door handles feel gross and are very squeaky.
Another thing then is that the doors can be difficult to open. Some don't open cleanly and without making much noise, they have to open roughly and squeak so that you cannot walk into a room as a ghost unheard and your scare attempt fails, all because of a door.
My door began not to fit the doorframe so some of the door had to be shaved off, I look at the bottom at night and lots of light floods in, the too not much. But the door is no longer as right as it used to be, and the door was never that good.
I think the worst thing about doors in public places it it tells people the direction of opening. I once sat bin subway with people during a college day and watched the door, I don't think one person opened the door in the right direction in their first attempt. So that sign is ignored, I tend not to look at the sign and look at the door and the frame, make a decision and look at the sign, they tend to be the same. But how do so many people fail to open a door, it is such a simple task.
And keys. People make a mess of that as well. Forgetting keys. Losing keys. Eating keys.
Slamming doors are also annoying. When done by the craft of outside doors being open or windows then either the outside door should be closed or the inside door should be closed. And when someone does it in anger the only thing that passes through my head is that the person is showing that they can close a door by allowing the other people to hear it. Well done! You are with billions of people in being able to close a door.
And some doors should never be closed when there are people there as they are stinky rooms because everyone is stinky and they never open the windows to allow for the stinkyness to leave. Some people don't understand that feeling.
So doors, better off without them if humans are present.

Shark attack! :-D  I feel slightly relaxed being able to feel the pain... I heard laugh and saw smile, Jack? I don't need you. I smiled when it was happening, and I don't feel bad about it, for once I have done something this holiday which I don't feel bad about.